My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
