what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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