Nicole vs. Life
I wanna passion pit in your ass
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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