Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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