we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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