So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
