when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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