I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
