that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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