If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
