Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
this just has baby written all over it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
