I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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