Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
