I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
