i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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