i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
