We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
