The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
