I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Pappa wants mamma naked
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
