It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
