so that wasnt chicken after all
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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