I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
