Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
