I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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