Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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