I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
