I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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