Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
