Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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