Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
