I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
