It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
