i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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