I hate your face
plz talk dirty to me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
