he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
