p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
