They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
