so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
