yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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