do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish you could order shots online.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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