ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
