My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
