I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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