i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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