maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
