I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
