a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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