I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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