no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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