you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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